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A f I a u 
Jrt Evan Aria 

By anna E. SATTERLEE 



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Found: A Young Nobleman 

A PLAY 

IN 

TWO ACTS-THREE SCENES 

BY 
ANNA E. SATTERLEE 



AN APPRECIATION 

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH 

841 SOUTH HOPE STREET 
LOS ANGELES 

It is a great pleasure to recommend the delightfully written' 
play by Anna E. Satterlee, entitled "Found: A Young Nobleman." 

Because of Mrs. Satterlee' s unusual literary gifts this play 
combines beauty of line with rapid movement and the ability to 
genuinely interest every hearer. 

I hope it may have a very wide use during the coming months. 



^i)y^ ditn^ 



cJL. 




PS 2537'^ 



Copyright 1916 

by the W. C. T. U. of Southern CaUfornia 

Los Angeles, Cal. 



APR 26 1916 



NOTE— This play was originally produced 
with much success at the Ebell Club House, 
Los Angeles, by young people of the First Con- 
gregational Church, that city, under the 
auspices of its Woman's Work Society, Mrs. 
J. C. F. Atsatt, President. 

©CI.0 48761 



7i.:-r 



Found: A Young Nobleman 

A PLAY IN TWO ACTS— THREE SCENES 
By Anna E. Satterlee 



Characters: Mrs. Wilson, a widow. 

Nettie Wilson, her daughter. 
Dick Wilson, her son. 

Linda Dowell, Nettie's guest, from New York. 
Judith, the maid. 
Henry, the gardener. 
Nancy, the washerwoman's daughter. 
Mrs. Golots and Mrs. Overdoo, callers. 
A tramp. 

Harding, a whistler. 

Other soloists, dancing girls of immature age. 
Officers and members of "The Temperance 
Boosters' Club." 

Scene — A living-room in a California bungalow. 

Time — The present. 



ACT I— Scene First 

(Mrs. Wilson sits in the living-room, sewing.) 

(Enter Nettie.) 

Net. (displaying a telegram). I've just received this, 
mother. Can you guess who's coming today? 

Mrs. W. (thoughtfully). It can't be your Uncle Harvey? 
He wrote me he might be out before long; but I think he 
would have addressed a dispatch to me. It must be one of 
your girl friends. 

Net. You could never guess, mother dear, so I'll show 
you; though to be sure she is a school-chum. (Holds mes- 
sage for Mrs. Wilson to read.) 

Mrs. W. Linda Dowell! No, I should not have thought 



of her. Did you tell me her father is a multi-millionaire, 
and that the family spend much of their time abroad? 

■Net. I did. And is that your reason for not expecting 
her to visit us? 

Mrs. W. I hadn't really given her much thought; but it 
did occur to me that she must be acustomed to a great deal 
of luxury, and might feel out of place in a simple home 
like ours. 

Net. Well, she is surely coming — evidently without a 
maid. I do hope she won't consider us too primitive. 
Where is Dick? 

Mrs. W. He is out dusting the car. He said you wanted 
to go somewhere, to see someone, he didn't know whom, 
and supposed you would want him to drive for you. 

Net. Surely I do. I'll take him to the station to meet 
Linda. (Seats herself on an ottoman, at one side of Mrs. 
Wilson.) Dick is all right, if he is my brother. I wonder 
if Linda will think so? Of course she has seen so many 
grand dukes and lords and what-not-you-may-call-'em, over 
in Europe, she must be dreadfully fastidious. 

Mrs. W. Probably she knows that Dick is just an Ameri- 
can school-boy, and will hardly be disappointed, unless she 
expects to find him like some of the more rapid youth of 
New York City. A sensible girl would approve of a sensible 
boy. 

Net. And our Dick positively belongs in that class — eh, 
momsief 

Mrs. W. I hope so. 

Net, I'll telephone to learn if the train is on time, then 
go tell Dick — By and by, I shall have a request to make: 
something not very large, so please make up your mind to 
say yes, mother dear. (Rises and proceeds to telephone.) 

Mrs. W. Am I not to have an inkling from which to 
'.anticipate? 

*. Net. (smiling and shaking her finger at Mrs. Wilson). 
"Not one. (Makes inquiry at telephone.) The train is on 
time, and due in a half-hour. That will hurry us a little. 

(Exit Nettie.) 

(Mrs. Wilson picks up and re-reads the telegram.) 

(Enter Judith.) 

Jud. The boy has brought the steak, and I wondered if 
you would like it broiled with mushrooms? 

Mrs. W. Yes, that would be fine. We are to have com- 
pany, Judith— a young lady from New York, and Nettie 
and Dick are going to the station to meet her. 

Jud. Ah-h-h? Well now, I wonder if they wouldn't like 
some lemonade with mint in it, when they come? 



Mrs. W. I believe they would. That was thoughtful of 
you, Judith. 

Jud. Oh, that's nothin'. I'll sure fix up some. 

(Exit Judith.) 

(Enter Nettie.) 

Net. Mother, would you believe it? Dick had a fit of 
bashulness when I told him about Linda, and didn't want 
to go to the station. I coaxed him, though. Now, momsie, 
dear, I want a party while Linda is here — our girls' knitting 
circle, at luncheon, or an evening company for the girls and 
young fellows. We wouldn't need elaborate refreshments. 
What do you say? 

Mrs. W. Very well, I'm willing, Nettie. 

Net. And do you think we might serve a light wine with 
the rest? Linda has always been accustomed to having 
wine on the table, she told me. 

Mrs. W. I'm sorry; for I don't see how we can gratify 
her taste in that direction while she is with us. You re- 
member that your father never approved of wine drinking, 
and I do not like to place temptation in the way of anyone 
— especially young people. Besides, you may also remember 
Dick has just helped to organize a Temperance Boosters' 
Club among his high school mates, and they are to meet 
here this evening. 

Net. I had forgotten. Well, Linda w^ill think we are 
spreading it on "good and plenty". 

Mrs. W. She might as well know at first that we are 
temperance folks, and if we are true to our principles she 
should respect us for that. 

Net. I suppose you are right, mother. You usually are. 
But why not invite some of my friends this evening, too— r 
probably Linda won't stop with us long — and we could have 
a little programme in connection with the meeting; make 
fudge, or something to pass around, and give them all a 
good time. 

Mrs. W. A good idea, it seems to me. To succeed, the 
meeting must be made attractive. Get Dick's approval of 
your plan, and you have mine. 

Net. Thanks; I'll have it, all right. Now I must go get 
my wraps. I think I hear Dick coming. 

(Exit Nettie.) 

(Enter Dick, cap in hand.) 

Dick, What do you think of Nettie's prospective guest, 
mother? I judge she's a high-flyer, by what Nettie says 
of her. I wish I could get out of going to the station. 

Mrs. W. You will need to meet her soon, my boy, and 
mother thinks you are equal to the best of them. 



Dick. Oh, mother — flatterer, as usual! But, gee! what 
is a boy without a mother? 

Mrs. W. Perhaps he is as well off without, unless he have 
a good one. 

Dick. And I have a good one. 

Mrs. W. Your actions will go far to prove that, Dick. 
Don't forget. 

Dick. Sure I won't. 

(Enter Nettie.) 

Net. Ready, Dick? I am. Goodby, momsie. (Throws 
Mrs. Wilson a kiss.) 

(Exeunt Nettie and Dick.) 

(Mrs. Wilson watches them depart, then returns to her 
work.) 

(Enter Judith, with young girl in short, cotton gown, 
hair in stiff braids tied with wrinkled ribbons.) 

Jud. The wash'woman's gal. Miss Wilson. She says her 
ma can't wash for us tomorrer. 

Mrs. W. Is your mother ill, Nancy? 

Nan. She had a' awful headache, yisterday, and could't 
wash fer Miss Sniff, an' today she has to keep care o' pa, 
and tomorrer she'll have to go to Miss Sniff. 

Mrs. W. So your father is ill? 

Nan. He has indigestion, awful, an' he can't get no work, 
an' ma she says she don't know what we're a'comin' to. 

Mrs. W. Does your father have a physician? 

Nan. (looking curiously around room). No ma'm, 'cause 
we can't efford no doctor, ma says; and pa says he don't 
want none. He says drugs ain't no good. 'Twas Mr. Dick 
what told him they wouldn't help him none. He said he'd 
orter try drietin'. 

Mrs. W. Drietingf Oh, you mean dieting, perhaps. 
. Nan. Yes, ma'am, that's it, fer sure. 
: Mrs. W. Dick's father taught him the value of dieting, 
.'.and he was a doctor. It is good advice, Nancy. I hope 
your father will follow it. 

Nan. Pa says it's Hobson's choice with him. Meat an' 
butter 'n eggs is so high we can't efford 'em. I'd like to 
know if Mr. Dick is goin' to be a doctor? 

Mrs. W. I believe he hasn't fully decided. Why do you 
ask, Nancy? 

Nan. 'Cause I bet he'd make a dandy one all right. Pa 
says he's the smartest young feller anywhere 'round. 

Jud. (standing with hands on hips). Hear the child! 

Mrs. W. That is a fine compliment, Nancy. 

Nan. I likes Mr. Dick, too, an' I wish he'd get after 
Rowdy. 

6 



Mrs. W. Rowdy? 

Nan. Oh, he's a' awful bad boy what lives by our house. 
He makes fun o' my hat 'cause its tore, an' that's why I 
come here bareheaded. 

Mrs. W. What would you have Dick do with Rowdy? 

Nan. Lick 'im, good! 

Mrs. W. He might object, seriously, to that. 

Nan. That needn't make no diff'rence. He needs a lickin' 
and I bet his ma da'sn't give 'im one. He sasses her awful. 

Mrs. W. Possibly Dick can have a talk with Rowdy and 
lend him some story-books to read. That might be better 
than a whipping. Do you think so? Very likely he doesn't 
have many kind words spoken to him. 

Nan. Mebbe he don't. His pa swears at 'im awful! 

Mrs. W. That is too bad. I'll ask Dick to hunt him up, 
soon. And, Nancy, we had a little girl about your size, 
visiting us awhile ago. She left a hat here, and asked 
me to give it to someone who might care for it. I'll get it, 
and show you. 

(Exit Mrs. Wilson.) 

(Nancy goes to table and takes a spool-case from work- 
basket. Judith rushes up, takes it from her, and re- 
places it.) 

Jud. Land sakes! Child, you shouldn't meddle that way 
with other people's things. 

Nan. I didn't think Miss Wilson would care if I only just 
looked at it. 

Jud. Well now, stand back, or you may not get the hat, 
after all. 

(Enter Mrs. Wilson, with hat.) 

Nan. (at sight of it). Oh my, ain't it swell? It's swel- 
lerer 'n pickles! 

Mrs. W. Pickles? 

Nan. (disconcerted). I said that 'cause I likes pickles! 
better 'n most anythin'. 

Mrs. W. (trying hat on Nancy). Just a fit. It is yours, 
Nancy. Always lay it away carefully, when you take it off. 
Does mother give you a shelf in the closet? 

Nan. We ain't got but one shelf in our closet, and ma 
keeps the "Crisco" and 'lasses cans on that, 'cause it's high 
up, and Tony can't reach 'em. He's pretty nigh two, now, 
and he's awful tricky. 

Mrs. W. Wait and I'll get you a box to keep it in. 

Nan. That's where ma keeps her'n Miss Sniff give her, 
and she shoves it under her bed. 

(Exit Mrs. Wilson.) 



(Judith laughs quietly, one hand over her mouth.) 

Nan. (observing). What be you gigglin' at, Judith? 

Jud. I was thinking' somebody might take your ma's 
hat for a burglar, some night. 

Nan. Laws! We never even locks our doors. Buggelars 
wouldn't look at our house sideways, 'cause all they'd get 
wouldn't more'n give 'em a pain, pa said so. Ma has a 
brooch with gold 'round it, and glass on top, an' some o' 
granny's hair inside, an' she keeps it tied up in a hand- 
kachif and puts it inside her piller-case an' sleeps on it 
ev'ry night. It 'ud take a' awful strong buggelar to lift ma. 
She weighs pritty nigh two hunderd. Pa ain't got no 
jew'lry 'cept a nickel-plate "Ingersoll," an' it loses time 
like sixty. 

(Judith laughs aloud.) 

(Enter Mrs Wilson, with box.) 

Mrs. W. What is the matter, Judith? 

Jud. The child is "as good as a circus." Oh, ho, ha, ha! 

Mrs. W. Judith means you have a talent for fun, Nancy, 
and that is a good thing, when put to proper use, and 
never to do anyone harm. You may wear the hat home, and 
Judith shall put some nice whole-wheat bread and some 
little cakes in the box. (Hands box to Judith.) Wrap 
them up well, Judith. 

Jud. Sure I will. Come on, Nancy. 

Nan. Shall I tell ma to come some other day? 

Mrs. W. Yes, as soon as she can. 

Nan. (offering her hand). Goodby, Miss Wilson. You're 
awful kind to give me the hat. 

(Exit Judith.) 

Nan. (dancing on her way out). I got a new hat, I have. 

(Exit Nancy.) 

(Mrs. Wilson again seats herself at her work.) 

Judith (presently) ushers in Mrs. Golots and Mrs. 
:Overdoo. 

Mrs. W. (rising to greet them). How do you do, ladies? 
Have seats, please. 

(All take seats.) 

Mrs. G. (with much energy). We've come begging, this 
afternoon, Mrs. Wilson, and can't stop long. We've planned 
to call upon twenty people in this neighborhood, and we 
counted you in, because we know you are always ready to 
help any needy society or individual. 

Mrs. W. Thank you, Mrs. Golots, but I often find it 
hard to distinguish between the worthy and the unworthy. 

Mrs. O. (in drawling, affected style). Like the rest of 
us. No. I can't sanction all our church charities and ex- 



penditures, though I believe the trustees do try to dis- 
criminate, and give where it will do the most good. 

Mrs. W, Credit will be given for good intentions, no 
doubt. 

Mrs. O. I suppose so; but some let their hearts run away 
with their reason, and some use reason with the essence of 
charity left out. 'Twixt the two, there's no end of blunders. 

Mrs. G. (smiling). Well, we are combining common 
sense and charity in our soliciting, today, Mrs. Wilson. 
We want your help in our temperance work. 

Mrs. O. We know you are a member of the W. C, T. U., 
and we've seen you at some of their meetings. 

Mrs. W. Yes. You may command me, ladies, to any 
reasonable extent. 

Mrs. G. Thanks. We 're planning on a big temperance 
rally, and we want everybody to invite everyone they meet. 
There'll be good speeches, splendid music, and a collection. 
We want everyone to go prepared for that, and we won't 
object to five and ten dollar bills, for the expanses of this 
campaign will be heavy, and the opposition is spending as 
if the money belonged to the other fellow. In fact, I guess 
most of it really does. 

Mrs. O. Yes, and if we can get the other fellow to spend it 
where he should — for his family — and get booze out of his 
reach, we shall be more thankful. 

Mrs. G. I calculate if we get the necessary ballots to 
win it'll boom California to the ends of the earth. The 
Panama Expositions couldn't hold a candle to its influence. 
Everybody would want to come and bring his family, where 
thGy have plenty of drinks, — lemonade made from lemons 
fresh-picked from the trees; sweet grape-juice, from our 
own vines; mineral waters galore, and the magnificejit 
Pacific Ocean, to look at, — and no'body clrunTc! Why, a 
whole lot of 'em would settle right down here, and stay ; 
settled. It means sacrifice, but I'm willing to sacrifice : 
myself, for I'm sure it will pay, and pay big! 

Mrs. W. We know that nothing great was ever accom- 
plished without sacrifice. 

Mrs. O. That is what I think, when I sacrifice myself, 
going around begging for others. But I'm not always sure 
I hadn't better be at home looking after my young ones. 

Mrs. W. I'm sure mothers are justified in getting away 
from home, once in awhile, even for pleasure. We needn't 
make slaves of ourselves for our children. But if everyone 
oi' us had the wisdom and strength to rear our own prop- 
erly, there would be no cause for begging. 

Mrs. G. I'm inclined to think you're right. And you're 



doing your part, Mrs. Wilson. There isn't a finer boy any- 
where around than your Dick. He always exercises a good 
influence over other boys. I hold him up as an example 
to my Tom. 

Mrs. O. A boy must be good-natured to stand that. Some 
would take it out in hating the other fellow. 

Mrs. G. Oh, nobody could hate Dick. He's a real boy — 
not a "goody-goody". The other boys all want him for 
leader, whatever is going on. (Rising.) But you'll come 
to our rally, Mrs. Wilson, and do come and see us. 

Mrs. W. (rising, with Mrs. Overdoo). Yes, look for me, 
both at the rally and to call. 

(They shake hands.) 

(Exeunt Mrs. Golots and Mrs. Overdoo.) 

(Enter Judith, soon.) 

Jud. Miss Wilson, the gard'ner wants to know if he can 
leave some o' them bulbs till tomorrer. He says his gal 
is goin' to get married tonight, and he has to dress some 
fowls for the weddin' supper. 

Mrs. W. Ask him in, Judith. 

(Exit Judith.) 

(Enter Henry, twirling a rose.) 

Mrs. W. Judith tells me your daughter is to be married 
this evening, Henry. 

Hen. Yes, m'am. She'll marry a likely chap, I believe, — 
not so smart as your Dick, nor so fine lookin', — but likely. 
(Lays rose on table, in front of Mrs. Wilson.) That's from 
the new bush by the corner of the back porch. 

Mrs. W. (taking up rose). Isn't it a beauty? I had 
noticed the buds; and I'm glad you think well of Dick, 
Henry. Has your prospective son-in-law a trade? 

Hen. He's a carpenter and j'iner, m'am. 

Mrs. W. I'm glad of that. So many men are unfitted for 
l any special work and find it hard to secure jobs. 
• Hen. So I tells Jinnie. He's likely to earn their bread 
and butter, if he don't get laid off on a strike. 

Mrs. W. Then he is a Union man? 

Hen. I s'pose he is. 

Mrs. W. Let us hope he will have steady employment. 
(Goes to desk and fills out a check, which she hands to 
Henry.) This is for Jennie, with my very best wishes for 
her future. 

Hen. Oh, thank ye, m'am. Jinnie '11 be mighty glad to 
have both. I'll be 'round early tomorrer, "barrin' acci- 
dents." 

Mrs. W. I hope your wife is well? 

10 • 



Hen. Yes, but tol'able busy. We don't have a daughter mar- 
ried every day. 

Mrs, W, It would tax your heart and purse-strings most 
too severely, wouldn't it? 

Hen. Ha, ha! I ruther guess 'twould. This weddin'll 
take about all I've earned this week, to say nothin' of three 
big fat hens from my hennery, to make that new-fangled, 
mixed-up mess Jinnie calls "salid." For my part I'd ruther 
have stew an' pop-overs any time. But this is Jinnie's 
show tonight, and she's a good gal — bought most of her 
own weddin' finery a clerkin' at Black and Black's. I've no 
fault to find with Jinnie. 

Mrs. W. Not every father could say so much of a 
daughter. 

Hen. That's a fact. Well, goodby. Miss Wilson, and thank 
ye again. 

(Exit Henry.) 

(Telephone rings.) 

Mrs. W. (at telephone). Hello Oh, it is you, Dick 

very well. Come home early for dinner, and have a 

good time showing Linda the city Goodby, Dick. 

(Mrs. Wilson hangs up the receiver, as a man of the 
tramp description thrusts his head in at the window. She 
is surprised, but manifests no fear.) 

Tramp. Ye see, m'am, a step in time saves nine. That's 
why I didn't get ye to the door. 

Mrs. W. It would have been better to have rung the 
door-bell. 

Tramp. That may all be so, ma'am. But ye see yere son 
Dick told me, when I met him this morning, he'd give me 
the job of cleaning his automobile. I've come to give it the 
desirable scrub, 

Mrs. W. The machine is in use at present. 

Tramp. That may all be so, ma'am, but ye see yere son 
Dick knows my conditions, and he give me the job. 

Mrs. W. If you will call by appointment probably the 
job will be waiting. 

Tramp, That may all be so, m'am. But ye see I've got 
the commendatories right here in my pocket. (Takes a 
soiled note from his coat-pocket and hands it to Mrs. 
Wilson.) 

Mrs, W. (reads). "Pinch 'em for six drinks and ticks 
fer two" 

Tramp. Hi — hello! That's the wrong paper. It's from 
my first and third cousin, m'am, and he's a bum. Don't 
mind 'im m'am! 

11 



Mrs. W. (returning note). Won't you please be seated in 
one of our porch chairs (points in direction), and I'll see 
what can be done for you. They may be wanting extra help 
at our neighborhood garage. 

Tramp (excitedly. I ain't wanting ho garridge work, 
m'am, and I ain't no "Weary Willie" wanting a seat! I 
only wants jestice and the job I was promised to get. 

Mrs. W. I see. Possibly I can give you some work about 
the place until the car arriyes. (Goes to door leading to 
culinary apartment and calls.) Judith! 

Jud. (outside). Yes, m'am. 

Mrs. W. Won't you show th-e man on the porch the way 
to the, coal-shed? Some of those large pieces of coal need 
breaking. 

Jud. Yes, m'am. 

(Enter Judith, presently.) 

Jud. (standing with hands on hips). He says he ain't 
poundin' coal for keeps. He's an automobile ripperer! 
Those is his exact words, Miss Wilson. He wants the job 
he says Mr. Dick give him, or nothin'. 

Mrs. W. Did you show him the empty garage? 

Jud. I did. He said he could see that all right, and if 
you'd give him a quarter he'd go back to his hotel, and come 
again tomorrer. My! but he's a looker. 

Mrs. W. i fear the quarter would be worse than wasted. 
(Reflectively) I wonder how he came to know Dick? 

Jud. Oh, everybody knbws Mr. Dick — he a Native Son 
and a athlete, and his pa a specialist. I reckon he got 
acquainted with him when he went with his pa to the 
loonatic asylum. (Impulsively) Leave him to me, Miss 
Wilson! 

Mrs. W. What would you do with him? 

Jud. Sweep him off the porch with a broom— that's 
what Fd do, m'am! 

Mrs. W. (looking out). Why, he's nowhere in sight. He 
must have overheard you. 

Jud. (chuckling), I meant he should^ m'am. 

Mrs. W. He can't have gone far. It might be well to 
close the windows and look out for him. 

(Tramp suddenly peeks in, with a grimace.) 

Jud. (screams, as she observes him). There he is now. 
Miss Wilson! (Runs to window and slams it shut; motions 
to Mrs. Wilson to follow her.) 

(Exeunt Mrs. Wilson and Judith.) 

(Stage is darkened for a brief time.) 

12 



SCENK 2 

(Nettie arrives with her friend, Linda Dowell, and the 
two remove their wraps.) 

Lind. Oh, what a pretty room — such a dear little bunga- 
Ipw as you have! When I have a home of my own I mean 
it shall be like this, or patterned after a Swiss cottage. 
They are both so comfy, don't you know? 

(Nettie lays wraps over cha.ir, and both take seats on 
a small sofa.) 

Net. I'm glad you like our house. 

Lind. I certainly do; and you may consider yourself 
lucky in having your brother to drive for you, too. We 
had a chauffeur last summer who scared mamma blue. 

Net. That was when you were abroad? 

Lind. Yes. Going out from Naples, one day, he ran into 
a peddler's cart, upset it, and scattered a whole load of 
vegetables. If you will believe me, some went plump into 
an old woman's market-basket; father cut his face on the 
wind-shield, and mother and I were bumped and bruised 
dreadfully. 

Net. And the peddler? 

Lind. He rolled on top of the vegetables and wasn't 
much hurt, physically, but judging by his language, his 
mental faculties must have been completely demoralized. 
Father paid for the load and that very day had to pay a 
fine for speeding! 

Net. Europe hasn't a monopoly on reckless drivers. 

Lind. No; but our New York chauffeur was better than 
the average. He wouldn't go across with us, though— afraid 
of the water — being swallowed by a whale, or something. 
Strange, too, when he had an ocean right under his nose for 
years. But I think he came near being drowned in a wash- 
tub when he was little. — Do you know, Nettie, I'm charmed 
with that brother of yours? Is he in college? 

Net. He will be a High School graduate this year. He is 
only eighteen. 

Lind. Just a "Prep"? I had supposed him twenty at 
least, he is so big and fine-looking. You must be awfully 
proud of him. 

Net. We are. But you — You have had so many oppor- 
tunities. Aren't you partial to foreigners? 

Lind. There are some splendid specimens over there, of 
course. And it seems a pity some of the finest are being 
slaughtered in the dreadful war. — But I am heart-whole. 
Doesn't that convince you that our countrymen stand as 
good a chance as any, with me? 



Net. I guess women are all against war. I'm sure 
mother and I are. I don't know what we would do if Dick 
had to go and fight. — But really, wern't you carried away 
by high titles? 

Lind. (snapping thumb and finger). That for titles. 
Some of the biggest ones belong to the smallest men imag- 
inable. 

(Enter Dick, bringing roses, which he divides between 
Linda and Nettie.) 

Lind. Oh, how perfectly lovely! (smells of roses then 
tucks them in her belt). Do you play ball, Dick? — You 
see I am leaving off the mister, though you are quite digni- 
fied enough to merit it. 

Dick (Drawing a chair near sofa.) Am I blushing? I am 
seldom paid such a compliment, and had it been deferred — 
say till the end of the week — I probably shouldn't have 
been able to guess that you ever entertained the thought. 
Thanks, just the same. Yes, I play football now and then. 

Net. He is half-back for his team, Linda. 

Lind. Oh, will you take me to see them play. 

Dick. Sure, tomorrow. 

Lind. Good! Is your name Richard? 

Dick. Dickenson Stuart: named for grandmothers on 
both sides. 

Lind. Lucky grandmothers! And are you a descendant 
of the Scottish house of Stuart? 

Dick. We haven't traced our ancestry so far, though I 
believe Grandmother Stuart is Scotch-Irish. Anyhow, it 
takes more than royal blood to make a man, and I pity any 
boy who relies upon that for distinction. 

Lind. (laughing). Good for you! Where do you play 
ball? 

Dick. In a park — amphitheatre and everything handy. 

Lind. I shall be delighted to go, and I'll promise to shout 
for your side at my topmost. 

(Door-bell rings.) 

Lind. I wonder if that can be the expressman with my 
trunk? 

Dick. I'll go see. 

(Exit Dick.) 

Lind. I have come for a month, or six weeks, Nettie, 
but I'm not meaning to inflict it all upon you. 

Net. Why call it an infliction? We shall be only too 
glad to have you with us. 

Lind. I'm thankful for that. But I have an uncle on a 
fruit ranch somewhere near Riverside, and I must go 
there in a day or two. I had one trunk sent up here, be- 

14 



cause I knew you would want to see some of my new Paris 
gowns. 

Net. Indeed I would, and Dick and I shall be glad to 
introduce you to our society. 

(Enter Dick.) 

Lind. Jolly crowd? 

Net. Best ever. 

Lind. Do you say so, too, Dick? 

Dick. Anything Nettie says goes. But what were you 
discussing? 

Lind. How nice of you. We were speaking of beaux, 
and of you in particular. 

Dick. That alters the case. And you havn't inquired 
about your trunk. 

Lind. The expressman didn't charge you over again, 
did he? 

Dick. The straps were somewhat broken; but no, he 
didn't ask me to pay for new ones. I had it sent upstairs. 

Lind. Thanks. Now, will you tell me if Nettie has a cat? 

Dick. Yes, she has a cat. I won't say in common with 
other spinsters — I think Nettie prefers being called a 
bachelor maid. 

Net. Just plain girl, please. 

Lind. The girl with the cat. I know it must be a 
pretty one. 

Net. White Angora. And Dick has a thorough-bred 
English pup. You should see them together. 

Lind. Any danger of fur flying? 

Net. I should say not. Flossie has too much dignity for 
that, and the pup respects it. But he likes to show off for 
her benefit. 

(Enter Mrs. Wilson.) 

Net. Oh, mother, here is Linda. (The young people 
stand.) 

Mrs. W. How do you do, dear? (The two clasp hands.) 
We are glad to welcome a former classmate of Nettie. 

Lind. And I'm awfully glad to be welcomed by Nettie's 
mother, and Dick's. 

Mrs. W. I've just come from Mrs. Belden's across the 
way. We both had a visit from a tramp, while you were 
driving. 

Net. and Lind. A tramp f 
Mrs. W. Yes, a genuine tramp. He insisted that Dick 
had given him the job of cleaning our car. 

Dick. Not I. You know I never send workmen here 
without warning, mother. 

Mrs. W. You never have, so I found it hard to believe 

15 



his story. And he made up a queer one, using words not 
found in any vocabulary. 

Dick (placing a chair for his mother). Why didn't you 
introduce the pup? ^ 

(All take seats.) 

Mrs. W. (smiling). Judith was more convenient. She 
threatened to dismiss the man with a broom-stick, 

Dick. She would have carried out her threat, given the 
chance. 

Lind. She must be brave. 

Dick. She is, in most instances. 

Lind. When is she not? 

Dick.I've never seen her in conwct with a mouse; but 
at the time of a big earthquake, a few years ago, I have her 
word for it, she was almost scared to death. 

Lind. Oh, don't mention any you've had here! I should 
want to pack myself off, immediately. 

Net. We seldom know of one until we read about it in 
the papers. 

Dick. Possibly you wouldn't escape by returning East. 
Besides, you might encounter an electric shock in a thun- 
der-storm, be submerged by a water-spout, or blown into a 
house-afire by a tornado. 

Lind. True. So for the present I think I'll stay where 
I am. I already feel quite at home, thank you. 

Dick. You won't have been here long before you will 
conclude it's the next thing to Paradise. 

(Enter Judith, bearing tray of glasses containing lem- 
onade.) 

(Dick meets her, sets tray on table, and assists in passing 
glasses.) 

Lind. (sipping from hers). This is delicious — almost 
equal to champagne, 

Mrs. W. We think it is superior, because it never intoxi- 
cates. We do not keep wine in the house. 

Lind. Not even for medicine f 

Mrs. W. No, for we have found less harmful things that 
will do as well. 

Net. You see, you are not likely to get anything stronger 
than this, here, Linda, unless I except tea and coffee. 

Lind. Then you really think, Mrs. Wilson, that it is 
wrong to use wine, temperately f 

Mrs. W. I agree with St. Paul, that "All things are lawful 
for me, but all things are not expedient." He says, too, 
"It is good neither to eat flesh nor to drink wine, nor anj-- 
thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is made weak." 

Lind, I had heard about the defeat of Prohibition in this 

16 



state at the last election, so I supposed the great majority 
of people in California approved of wine-drinking. 

Mrs. W. A great many sympathized with ranchers who 
had planted to wine-grapes, and many thought the amend- 
ment too radical in other ways. 

Lind. What advantage could there be in spoiling so many 
ranches, Mrs. Wilson? 

Mrs. W. Nothing is spoiled which can be put to better 
use. Character losses should always overbalance money and 
labor losses. Most of the vineyards could be made to grow 
table-grapes; but the same amount of capital invested in 
various food and clothing industries, and the money spent 
for liquor diverted to these channels, would very soon bring 
an increasing demand for labor, would pay better in a mon- 
etary way, and would promote a substantial growth in 
character. 

Lind. Such as is claimed for Russia, with vodka under 
the ban, I suppose. But do you never drink wine at parties, 
Dick? 

Dick, I never have. 

Net. Dick belongs to a "Temperance Boosters' Club," 
Linda; and I hope it won't make you want to get right 
away from our house, when I tell you they are to have a 
meeting here this evening. 

Lind. No, indeed! I shall be happy to attend and see 
how they are conducted, if I may. 

Dick. To be sure you may. Nettie has promised to ask 
in some of her crowd, and to give us a little fun with all 
the rest. 

Net. Yes, and I'll get a paper and pencil and make out 
a list, right now. (Goes to desk, and with these in hand, 
seats herself to write.) We must have Harding and his 
sister 

Dick. And Miss Mack, the piano teach<;r — she's lively. 

Net. Yes — and Davis 

Dick (winking at Linda). He's the old bachelor of 
Nettie's acquaintance. 

Net. And he is very witty — his father owns a big fac- 
tory, and he is his Western agent, with offices here. 

Lind. (amusively). Brain factory? 

Dick. Automobiles. That calls for brains, you know. 

Lind. I wonder you ever get a glimpse of him. Every- 
body is wanting one. 

Net. Oh, he has to stop for repairs once in a while, or 
he'd "go dead". 

Lind. . I hope he'll come. 

17 



Net, Then there are Dacey — and Morrows — and the girls 
across the way (writing busily). 

Mrs. W. You might invite the young lady next door. 
She is visiting here, and came from New York. She and 
Linda may have some interests in common. 

Lind. Certainly — there's Central Park, the Subway, and 
some of the shops, we're sure of; and quite possibly she 
may be acquainted with my next door neighbor. 

Net. We must have Grant Somers, Rose Lathrop, and 
Livery — 

Lind. Livery? 

Net. Oh, his real name is Oliver Channing; but he goes 
to a military school, and since he appeared at a function 
one evening in his military dress-suit we all call him 
"Livery". He did look decidedly grand, and the other fel- 
lows felt quite cut out, the girls paid him so many compli- 
ments. He quite likes the name. Doesn't he, Dick? 

Dick. He pretends to. That is the cheapest way, in 
the end. 

Net. (glancing at her watch). I believe we have as many 
down on the list as we can accommodate — including your 
club members, Dick, and it is nearly dinner-time. I want 
you to see our guest room, Linda, and while you are looking 
over your trunk and laying out something pretty to wear 
this evening, I'll telephone some of these people. You will 
invite the girls close by, Dick? 

Dick. With pleasure. (Nettie proceeds to gather up the 
wraps, hastily laid over chairs.) Let me help with these 
things, Nettie. 

Net. All right — don't let them drag. 

Lind. I would resent that, if I were you, Dick. 

Dick. No use. My tongue is no match for Nettie's, when 
a discussion of the proper way to handle feminine apparel 
is on. 

Lind. You are exceedingly civil. 

Dick. Thank you. 

Net. Dick knows Sister Nettie appreciates him (placing 
her hat on Dick's head, and Linda's over hers). That will 
be the easiest way to carry them. 

Dick. Mother, haven't we some sort of mirror handy? 

Mrs. W. (picking up shopping bag and removing mirror). 
Here you are, my son. 

Dick (pretending to prink). The latest "Fashion Poster!" 

(Enter Judith.) 

Jud. (lifting her hands). My! but you do look be- 
wilderin', Mr. Dick. 

Dick. Don't I? 

18 



Jud. Sure. But you could never "doll up" to look like a 
girl, nohow; and I expect you'd like to let the pup loose 
again. He's tore a hole in the shed-door screen, and stuck 
his head through it, so's he can't get it out without gettin' 
scratched. 

Dick. He's howling, now! Here, take these, please! 
(Tosses wraps to Judith; Nettie and Linda remove hats 
from his head.) 

(Exit Dick, hurriedly.) 

Jud. My! but that pup's a terror for gettin' into trouble. 
This mornin' he hung himself by his chain to the Cecil 
Brunner bush, and if Mr. Dick an' I hadn't found him just 
when we did, he'd 'a had a tussle with them thorns that 
would 'a left him lookin' like the frazzled edge of a last 
year's ''tucl stool." 

Net. That would have been a sorry sight! Let's go see 
how he's coming out, this time, Linda. 

(Exeunt, Linda and Nettie.) 

(Door-bell rings; Judith ushers in a young man, then 
retires with wraps. He is welcomed by Mrs. Wilson.) 

(Enter Linda, Nettie and Dick.) 

Net. Oh, how are you, Billy? We were just talking 
about you. Linda, this is Mr. Harding. My friend, Miss 
Dowell, Billy. (Both bow.) 

Hard, (to Linda). I hope they weren't scorching me. 

Lind. Quite the contrary. 

Hard. You'll vouch for that, will you, Dick? 

Dick. Sure. 

Hard, (smiling). I wasn't aware of company, Nettie; 
but I had a few minutes to spare, and thought perhaps we 
might go through with our little stunt for the "Gym" re- 
ception. Don't let me inconvenience you. 

Net. It won't, in the least. And I want Linda to hear 
you. 

Lind. Will you allow listeners? 

Hard. Charitable ones. 

Lind. Oh, we'll be any sort you please, and thank you. 

Net. (at piano). All ready, Billy. 

(Harding, facing audience, whistles. Others on stage 
seated. Is encored at close of selection, and whistles a 
second time.) 

(Curtain falls.) 



19 



ACT II 
Scene — The same. 
Time — Evening. 

(Linda and Dick appear with packages of literature.) 

Lind. I suppose you expect this stuff to bring you in a 
host of new members for your "Temperance Boosters' 
Club"? 

Dick (as they lay circulars on table, and take seats 
preparatory to sorting them over). We hope they will make 
some converts, whether they join our society or not. 
Plenty of statistics from states where Prohibition has been 
tried, and showing the good done by the means, ought to 
help. Don't you think so? 

Lind. (proceeding with the work). Where people are 
willing to be convinced, it may; but some don't care to be, 
and others are pretty determined not to be. See? 

Dick. Are you one of the latter sort? 

Lind. Well — no — not exactly Do you ever smoke? 

Dick. I never do. 

Lind. Wouldn't you like to try a cigarette with me now, 
if I furnish them? We could smoke and sort these at the 
same time. 

Dick. You will need to excuse me, Linda. I have prom- 
ised mother neither to drink nor smoke before I am twenty- 
one. 

Lind. Couldn't you make an exception in this instance, 
when I have come all the way from New York to visit you? 

Dick. I think you are joking; but if you aren't, I will 
say that you could not respect me if I did. 

Lind. What will you do about it when you become of age? 

Dick. I suppose I shall continue to steer clear of both 
intoxicants and tobacco. Business men, generally, are de- 
manding clear brains. Drink and cigarettes "befuddle" 
them. 

Lind. (tossing back her head and laughing). Pardan me, 
but I was just thinking what an impression a yoiftig man 
of your sort would make in some of the crowds I've min- 
gled considerably with. You certainly wouldn't find them 
congenial. Why, do you know, it's as common for lots of 
women and girls, — not to mention men, — I met abroad 
and in New York, to smoke and drink liquor, as for your 

20 



family to eat cake and pie? 

Dick, I've been told so, before. They would probably 
call me a "boob" for my abstinence. 

Lind. And you would be rather proud of the title, judg- 
ing by your manner. 

Dick. I would prefer it to losing my health and morals 
by such indulgences. 

Lind. Well, you're wonderful! 

(Enter Mrs. Wilson.) 

Lind. Mrs. Wilson, you should be very proud of your 
son. I offered to furnish cigarettes if he would smoke with 
me, but he declined with charming grace. 

Mrs. W. You are brave to confess, Linda. 

(Dick places a chair for his mother.) 

Lind. To tell the truth, I rather admire your way of 
doing. I'm getting pretty thoroughly tired of careless living. 
I've seen a number of things quite lately that have actually 
shocked me — and I'm not easily shocked. One young man 
our family knew intimately, smoked so many cigarettes 
that he partially lost his mind. One day he came home and 
went to his room. At dinner time he was called, but no 
answer came. His room-door was forced by his father and 
the butler, and they found the poor fellow lying across the 
bed, the breath quite gone from his body; and beside him, 
on a pillow, an empty vial marked with skull and cross- 
bones! The family physician pronounced it death by 
heart-failure, — to soften the effect upon his mother. — But 

it was a mighty hard Mow, nevertheless! ^Another 

young man, married to a dear girl friend of mine, was 
crushed to death under a Mg touring car he tried to drive 
while i7itoxicated! 

Dick. The combination of high-powered cars, broken 
bottles and broken bones is getting to be rather common, 

Mrs. W. It seems to me much the safer way to let in- 
toxicants entirely alone, than to drink or smoke, even a 
little — habits are so easily formed and so difficult to 
break up. 

Lind. Aren't you sometimes discouraged because it 
takes so long to bring about reforms? 

Mrs. W. Your question reminds me of the adage: "The 
world wasn't made in a minute." If the Creator of all took 
much time to do big things, we ought to be willing to do 
the same. 

Lind. Then it seems to me laws against liquors and 
cigarettes aren't ever well enforced. 

Dick. Just read over some of these statistics and see! 

21 



T believe you won't need to investigate far before you will 
be on our side. We would give you three cheers and a 
circus! 

Lind, And would you go to New York and help me start 
a "Temperance Boosters' Club"? 

Dick. Sure thing! I have a grandmother in Montclair 
who would set the ball rolling. She's strong on everything 
of that kind — equal suffrage and all. 

Lind. Oh, I hope to meet her! 

Mrs. W. I hope you may. She is Dr. Wilson's mother, 
and a dear lady, seventy years young. 

(Enter Nettie, with pan of "fudge".) 

Net. I've had splendid luck with the "fudge". Try it 
and see. (Passes pan around, and each one takes a piece.) 

Lind. (smacking lips). M-m-m — but it's good! 

Net. I must go get off this apron, for it's time folks were 
coming. 

(Door-bell rings.) 

Dick. There's someone, now. 

(Exeunt Nettie and Dick.) 

(Mrs. Wilson and Linda set back table and re-arrange 
chairs.) 

(Enter, Dick, with several others.) 

(Introductions follow, all stand chatting, in groups about 
the room.) 

(Enter, Nettie with others.) 

(Enter, still others, in groups of two, or three.) 

Dick (presently)). It is time to call our meeting to 
order. (Raps on table.) 

Dick. Our secretary will please read minutes of the last 
meeting. 

Sec'y. The meeting for Friday, the nineteenth, was held 
at the home of Miss Ysabel Trainer; eight present; Mr. 
Dick Wilson in the chair. By ballot, Mr. Wilson was elected 
president of the club; Miss Trainer, vice president; Miss 
Gwendolyn Harris, secretary; Mr. James Donovan, treasurer. 
Motion carried, to name the organization, The Temperance 
Boosters' Club. Motion carried, to charge a membership fee 
of one dollar; the same amount, yearly dues. Motion car- 
ried that we expend two dollars, immediately, for temper- 
ance literature for distribution. Motion carried that each 
member solicit others to join the club. A committee of two 
was appointed by the president to draw up a constitution 
and by-laws. Adjourned to meet with Mr. Wilson, next 
Friday. 

Dick. Any corrections? 

22 



Member, I think the names of the committee appointed 
to draw up the constitution and by-laws, should be inserted. 

Dick. Anything more? 

(No answer.) 

Dick. The secretary will please jot down the names of 
Miss Trainer and Mr. Donovan, when the report will stand 
as corrected. Is Miss Trainer, chairman, ready to report? 

Miss T. (rises and reads.) This organization shall be 
known as The Temperance Boosters' Club. It shall admit 
as members all young people — married or single — who are 
willing to sign the following pledge, and to pay membership 
and annual dues. Officers shall consist of a president, vice 
president, secretary and treasurer. The president shall 
preside at all meetings, when present. The vice president 
shall substitute for the president, in his absence. The sec- 
retary shall keep the minutes of each meeting, and the 
treasurer shall have charge of the funds. 

Our Pledge: We promise to make an honest and per- 
sistent effort to abstain from intoxicants as a beverage, from 
cigarettes, from evil speaking and other things which de- 
tract from good morals, and to urge others to do likewise. 

By-law 1st. Meetings shall be held every Friday evening 
at half after seven o'clock, and shall consist of business and 
recreation. 

By-law 2nd. Any member unnecessarily late, shall pay a 
fine of five cents. 

By-law 3rd. A special meeting may be called by five 
members. 

By-law 4th. Any member dishonoring the pledge shall be 
reprimanded by a committee appointed by the president. A 
second offense shall mean expulsion. 

By-law 5th. These by-laws may be amended at any regu- 
larly called meeting, by a two-thirds vote. 

Dick. Any remarks? 

Member. I call that well done, and move it be accepted. 

Member. I second the motion. 

Dick. All in favor say aye. 

(Chorus of ayes.) 

Dick. The motion is carried. Any further business? 

(No answer.) 

Dick. I will say that we have purchased our temperance 
circulars, and I have them here for distribution at the close 
of the meeting. Mr. Sykes has invited us to his home for 
our next meeting. My sister has prepared a little program 
for us, and I will now turn the meeting over to her. 

Net. Would you enjoy singing some of our school and 
college songs? 

23 



Voices. Sure. That's all right. Will you play for us? 

Net. Gladly. (Or, Nettie may suggest the name of Miss 
Mack, a professional pianist.) 

(All join in singing popular airs for ten or fifteen min- 
utes: such as "The Spanish Cavalier," "My Bonnie's Gone 
Over the Ocean," "U-pi-de-i-da," etc., and one temperance 
glee song.) 

Net. Miss Lathrop will play for us— a violin selection. 

(Applause greets her as she takes her place near the 
piano, and she is heartily encored. In turn, Nettie calls for 
a vocal solo, a piano solo, and upon Mr. Harding to whistle. 
All are applauded.) 

(Door-bell rings. Two little girls, fancifully dressed, are 
ushered in, introduced and seated.) 

Net. Miss Powell has promised to read for us — something 
original, please, Linda. 

Lind. (rising amid applause.) Shall you stop your ears, 
I wonder? (Looks at the two small girls, smiling.) Let 
us all make believe we are under twelve, and I'll give you 
some children's verses I wrote on the way out, for some 
little friends of mine in New Jersey. (Reads.) 

A VISIT TO NODDLBTY NOB. 

Young Seward and Roland and William and Rob, 
Once went a long way to see Noddlety Nob. 
They rode in a basket of shiny bamboo. 
And met with surprises decidedly new. 

The basket was fastened to wheels, you should know, 

And drawn by a pony amazingly slow. 

The driver was Roland, in suit of blue jeans, 

Who felt his importance, though not in his "teens." 

This Noddlety Nob, they had lately heard said, 
Would give little boys who went early to bed, 
A chance to see wonderful things for a mite, 
And feed them with suckers as big as a kite. 

At length, in a fluster, tliey reached a tall gate. 
And saw just beside it, a queer looking bait: 
The crown of a hat and the sola of a shoe 
The size of a gnome's, and of indigo blue. 

The gate swung wide open as quick as a flash, 
And out came a monster with loud-clanging crash. 
The boys caught their breath, said "How do ye do," 
And asked if a nickel would carry them through. 



The monster hopped skyward and backward and down; 
He had on a mask and a black cloak and gown, 
"A nickel," he grumbled, "my master can't use; 
None enter his quarters but those I may choose." 

"You'll like us, good giant, now please say you will," 
Spoke Seward, the dauntless, and William, the still, 
Just smiled, till his cheeks were so dimpled and red, 
That Roland cried out: "He will bite off your head." 

The giant jumped higher than ever at this, 
And smirked till he rolled himself up with a hiss. 
In time, he informed those visitors four, 
Admission would cost them a grip and no more. 

"You'll leave us our hands, my good giant, I hope," 
Again, it was Seward, who finally spoke. 
"Why yes," growled the giant, "I'll make them a score; 
And now, come along, and enter the door." 

The pony was hitched to a long crooked rail. 
And stood very meekly, while switching his tail 
To keep away flies, and mosquitoes and gnats, 
Which buzzed quite persistently, over the flats. 

Old Noddlety Nob, who had heard all the noise, 
Then came to the gateway to welcome the boys. 
The giant, not daring to cause them to scream. 
Shook hands very gently and left them to dream. 

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Roland, to Noddlety Nob, 

"I seem to be falling right into a mob." 

"What is it?" "Where are we?" asked Seward and Rob, 

While William, delighted, went bobetty-bob. 

Down, down, went the four, with a slip and a drawl. 

And landed below, on a white water-fall. 

But strangely enough, they were not even wet. 

And sailed down the stream, quite like seamen, well met. 

"I'm getting some fins," shouted Rob, in great glee, 
"Hurrah for a seal," he clapped, one, two, three. 
"And I am a whale, and our William's a duck," 
Said Seward, the dauntless, "with plenty of pluck." 

A moment of swimming and swirling and swirls, 
Then masses of lilies with petals of pearls, 
And hearts like the faces of dear little girls — 
Both black and blue-eyed, with their tresses in curls. 

25 



The lily-cups nodded and shook in the breeze, 
When out blew a hundred and more, Christmas trees. 
And presently, lights, all in spangles and bars. 
Were popping out over them, just like the stars. 

"Oh, ho," and "Oh, oh," and "Oh my," and "Oh me," 
The boys yelled in chorus, for every tree 
Bore toys of all sorts, from a top to a yacht; 
And each one pronounced them a very fine lot. 

Forgetting the lilies, they gathered the toys. 

And crammed all their pockets, like other small boys. 

Alas, for the pleasure! Alack, for the gain! 

Tops, pop-guns and whistles all turned into rain. 

The rain-drops went clatter, and patter and pat; 
They fell from the trees with a spatter and spat. 
The boys looked around half bewildered, and found 
The pony and cart and themselves, on the ground. 

"It's time to be going, I think," said young Rob. 
"You're right," answered Seward, "and that was a job 
Put up by old Noddlety, just to deceive. 
I'll not come again, you would better believe." 

" 'Twas great while it lasted, and I'm glad I came," 

Said Roland, while William smiled on, just the same, 

And dug at his eyes with his two little thumbs. 

And wished — how he wished — for some real sugar-plums! 

Back into the basket of shiny bamboo. 
The four promptly scrambled without more ado; 
And starting the pony with whoops and hurrahs. 
Went jogging off homeward, like jolly hussars. 

(Finis.) 

(Linda responds to an encore by reading a humorous 
selection from some popular author.) 

Lind. Do you young people ever dance? 

Dick. Ask us if California mocking-birds never sing? 

Net. I have a surprise for you in that line. Our little 
friends have come purposely, to dance for us. 

Lind. O— h, how delightful! 

(Voices exclaim, and several applaud the children, as they 
take the floor for a garden or flower-dance. Someone 
accompanies them on the piano.) 

26 



(Much applause as they finish the dance.) 

(Nettie and Judith pass "Fudge" and cakes; also glasses 
of water, which a few accept.) 

Dick, (touching Linda's glass with his, a little later). 
Here's to long life, happiness, and success with your "Boos- 
ter" club! 

Net. Linda's ''Booster" club? 

Lind. Can't you believe it of me? — Where is your mem- 
bership roll, Dick? I'm going to sign, right now, if you'll 
let me. (Rises.) 

Net. Reallyf—YOU? 

Lind. Why not? (laughingly.) 

Dick, (with book.) Good for you, Linda! 

Lind. (writes name in book.) There! I was never more 
proud of anything in my life! 

Dick, (clapping his hands.) Hurrah for Miss Dowell. 
(Others applaud. Harding calls for book and signs. Others 
follow.) 

Net. Well — I'm not to be "left out in the cold." (Takes 
book and signs pledge.) 

Lind, (raising her glass.) Friends, here's to the president 
of your Temperance Boosters' Club. I have found him a 
young nobleman, in the truest sense of the word — a young 
man who thoroughly respects himself, and lohose pledge is 
surely ''gilt edged!'' 

(Much applause, all rise as they drink to the toast. Dick 
bows several times, and finally lifts his hand in protest.) 

Lind. (lifting her glass once more). Here's to your 
club! May it survive until every man, woman and child 
in this country, has become a temperance booster, and 
Bacchus and "Old King AlcohoV have been ousted from 
their throyies ! 

(Great applause.) 

Lind. (Once more lifting her glass.) Let us drink to 
our hostess, Mrs. Wilson — a worth-while mother! May her 
influence extend to the ends of the Earth! 

(They drink and applaud.) 

Mrs. W. (bowing). Oh, thank you! 

Dick, (lifting his glass.) Here's to Miss Dowell's home 
State — New York. May it win equal suffrage and Pro- 
hibition! 

(Applause as they drink.) 

Lind. It will win, and soon. It's in the air, friends! 

Mrs. W. And comes from deep down in the hearts of the 
people! 

Member. That's so! Won't someone give us a rally cry? 

Several. Miss Dowell! (She shakes her head doubtfully.) 

27 



Dick. You are equal to it, Linda. 

Lind. (thoughtfully, after a moment's consideration). 
How is this? — 'Rah, 'rah, 'rah, This we do; pledge ourselves 
to living true; "Temperance Boosters," this our cry: Work 
for State and Nation DRY! 

(Cries of "Good!" "All right," "First rate!") 

Dick. Shall we adopt it? 

(Chorus of ayes.) 

Dick. It is unanimously carried! Let us give it in unison. 
All together — now! 

Chorus of voices: 

"'Rah, 'rah, 'rah! This we do, 
Pledge ourselves to living true. 
Temperance Boosters, this our cry: 
Work for State and Nation DRY!!'' 

Curtain. 

Members distribute literature among the audience, as 
they are dispersing. 



2-8 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 

■n 

n 018 393 365 6 f] 



printed by 

. Wesley Denning Co. 

los angeles 



